beanski

the tale of the waterfall

When Ski and I first fell in love, one of the first things I did was to bring him up the North Shore to Grand Marais to show him how beautiful it is up here in order to begin my moving up north sell. It was around his birthday six years ago. Every year around this time we try to make a habit to go up the shore and this year we had a great excuse to take Renee: She is obsessed with waterfalls. She thinks the little hose that shoots water out from the sump pump into our back yard is a waterfall. I just love how she says 'wadafall.'

Seeing her face when she realized the magnitude of a real, live waterfall was priceless. She hardly moved a muscle or said a word the entire time we were there. She just stared at the waterfall like she couldn't even believe her eyes. 


Cam rode around in the backpack, quiet and calm and happy. I don't think he could believe it either.



This green is my absolute favorite color in the world. The leaves are just budding up here and it is BEAUTIFUL.

After Gooseberry, we drove up to Tofte to have lunch. The kids were both so good (except for Renee sticking several of my credit cards in the radiator at the restaurant) and the food was good.


We took her outside to throw rocks into the "Big Blue Lake". She is STILL saying "Throw rocks in the big blue lake. Not swim in there. BRRR. More wadafall, Mommy?" every time she catches of glimpse of the lake.



Finally, a little fresh air led way to a nice, quiet ride home with two kids fast asleep. This NEVER happens so I had to document it. :)


I hope that it won't matter where we are living or what we are doing that we'll always head north for Ski's birthday and on the drive we'll always remember each trip. The first few young and in love with childless. One when I was GINORMOUSLY pregnant, one with a very little baby and one so far with two kids.

we thought she was a goner

We were leaving town to head south to Mankato to celebrate little Sam's first birthday on Saturday morning when we noticed she was missing. Ski came upstairs and said, "Have you seen Sasha anywhere? Because I can't find her." And my heart sort of sunk because for the last couple of days I had been feeling like something was wrong. I was having a hard time sleeping at night and everything and that is VERY rare for me. Something seemed out of place but I couldn't put a finger on what it was. 

We thought back and felt really guilty when we realized that it had been over a day since either of could remember seeing her. We went outside and called for her and talked to some of our neighbors to find out that she had been on one of their doorsteps meowing and crying on Thursday night. TWO ENTIRE DAYS AGO. We didn't notice that our cat had been missing for over 24 hours.

We bowed out of conversation with the neighbor and headed for the safety of the house, each of us holding one of our very confused children. We sat down on the floor of the basement and we cried. We mourned our girl, the cat that had been with us for almost six years now. The cat that I have often threatened to sell on ebay.

After putting up some missing cat signs, stashing food around the yard and the garage, we headed south, me clutching my cell phone hoping that it would ring with good news. I spent the entire drive reliving every bad thing I've ever said about her, feeling guilty that I didn't find the time more often to pet her and to make her feel loved. We talked about when they were babies, about how she used to curl up on my neck and try to suck, having been weaned from her mommy and abandoned way to early and about how she still to this day prefers the crook of my neck for sleeping. We talked about how I used to get up in the middle of the night to warm her up a cup of milk and about how I'd sit there with her while she drank it promising her that I would be her mommy and that I would always take care of her. She was my first baby, Sasha.

I've failed at that promise since Cameron was born, never having a spare lap or a spare hand or even a spare thought to spend paying attention to my pets. The guilt swallowed me.

And then, around 5PM, the phone rang and when I heard Ski say "That's great news," I cried all over again. Because the cat was back. And I get another chance to make good on that promise, that promsie to always take care of her.

11 weeks 2 days

I can hardly believe that I am a few days from the elusive 12 weeks mark. For at least the first 9 weeks, time went SO SLOW that each day felt like 10 days and I was sure I would never get here. Then things sort of calmed down a bit and here I am. I dug out my maternity clothes over the weekend and moped about how last time I didn't even need maternity clothes until like 18 weeks. Then I went and ate another piece of cheese. I have been prescribed 'low activity' by my doctor which does NOT mesh with the way that I like to live my life. My gardens and our yard haven't even been raked yet and I'm certain their chances of getting there at any point this summer are slim to none as Ski just isn't a yard work person. I feel depressed about it every day when I get home from work. I want salty, spicy foods that are terrible for me at all times and have really struggled to drink enough water despite my doctor's instructions to drink AT LEAST three times the recommended daily amount because I'm pregnant and nursing at the same time. I ate chocolate by the BAG when I was pregnant with Renee so it really weirds Ski out that I want tacos and/or pizza for dinner every SINGLE night. I have downed at least a few doses of Tums ALREADY, a thought that I shudder to even type. Oh and THIS: MY FREAKING HIPS HURT ALREADY. The baby is like one measly little inch long and weighs about as much a fig and my hips hurt. I mean SERIOUSLY. Where is this headed?

All of this being said I'm starting to get excited about the baby and am so grateful that s/he is still growing in there. When I'm chasing Renee around the house I can't help but think about how much fun they are going to have together and I think they are going to like being so close in age. I think about how I am four years younger than my middle sister and how I always felt so far removed from what my big sisters were doing. It evened out when I got older and now we are all on the same page but it was hard when we were younger. I haven't let myself even consider planning where s/he is going to sleep or what sort of goodies I need to get for the new one because I couldn't bear the though of having to remember what I was thinking if something bad happened to the baby. I'm starting to get excited to start thinking about it.

look daddy

What is that white stuff falling out of the sky?

This picture was taken just minutes before I threw myself head first out of our third floor window. So help me God, if I happen to find Mother Nature I will strangle her with my bare hands. 

why not?

Oh, a chain letter. I used to be a sucker for chain letter emails and since I have a serious case of blog block and no ambition to take pictures, this works. Besides, everyone else was doing it...and I am ALL about doing just what everyone else is doing.

1. Maybe I should stop going to bed at 8PM as waking up at 4AM sort of sucks.
2. I love the smell of my baby.
3. People would say that I'm a hard worker but that is changing as I get older.
4. I don’t understand women and why they are so competitive with eachother.
5. When I wake up in the morning I'm just praying to get a shower in and makeup on before the spawn wakes up and demands milk.
6. I lost our TV remote control after Renee was born. I found it in one of the gift bags someone sent when she was three months old.
7. Life is full of everything...joy, sorrow, happiness and sadness.
8. My past is full of good memories and good friends.
9. I get annoyed when my husband forgets that he does in fact know how to do laundry and empty the dishwasher.
10. Parties are tiring. I'm a small group person.
11. I wish I had more motivation to learn new things.
12. Dogs are stinky and a lot of work.
13. Cats are my kind of pet. They certainly have minds of their own.
14. Tomorrow I'm going to sit at work for eight hours...just like every other day.
15. I have low tolerance for people who think that their way is the only way and refuse to understand the concept of empathy.
16. I’m totally terrified of being kidnapped or having something bad happen to someone I love.
17. I wonder what people think when they meet me.
18. Never in my life have I gone skydiving. I really couldn't think of anything else here. I've done a lot of stupid things.
19. High school was hard. That age in my life was not easy on me. I never want to go back. Ever.
20. When I’m nervous I bite the skin on my fingers until they bleed.
21. One time at a family gathering 'The Aunts' got drunk and took the Jetskis out on the lake in the middle of the night. We were certain they were not coming back but they did.
22. Take my advice: Have fun, if you don't it is your own fault.
23. Making my bed NEVER happens. I mean NEVER.
24. I'm almost always counting the minutes until I get to go to bed.
25. I’m addicted to wasting time on the computer.
26. I want someone to come over and fix my driveway out of the kindness of their own heart.

please pass the chicken

Renee is obsessed with chicken and I find it completely hilarious. I put chicken on her plate and she shovels it in to her mouth as fast and she humanly can. I had to finger swipe it out last night because she put too much in there and she couldn't swallow it all. Carrots, chicken, cheese and any kind of bread. I try and try to give her fruit to help out with her pooping (or lack-thereof) problems and she ignores the sweet fruit and goes straight for the meat and cheese every time. She eats just like her daddy who will choke down vegetables if I put them on his plate but won't touch anything resembling fruit with a ten foot pole. What gives?

We missed Elliott's 3rd birthday party this weekend and I feel sad that we weren't there. I heard he had a giant balloon and that he had a lot of fun. I hope you had a magical birthday, little E.

Bunco is TOMORROW...as in one tiny, little day from now. Have I mentioned it is going to involve a whole bunch of people in my tiny little house? Whoa dude, REALLY? The house is a mess and I haven't cooked a single thing yet. Yikes.

How cute is my pregnant sister Annie? I say SUPER CUTE. I can't wait to meet that little sucker. She is so sure it is a boy but then she had a dream the other night that it was a girl and she didn't have a name. Only another 7-8 weeks and we get to find out!

the difference between #1 and #2

When I was pregnant with Renee I quit everything even on the 'has the potential to maybe be somewhat slightly harmful to a fetus' list from my life cold turkey. I was a maryr. I ate salad with chicken for lunch every day. I shunned caffeine. I went to bed early, exercised every day that my hips permitted me to walk and I made sure I was drinking AT LEAST double the recommended daily requirement of water. I was THAT girl. The pregnant girl no one likes. This time around I find myself eating turkey sandwiches without a second thought. Or bleu cheese. Or 14 thin mint cookies. I'm a mere five weeks pregnant and I've already had a diet coke. Only one but I went 10 months without one last time. Why is it that I am not obsessive this time? I feel sort of bad, like Renee got the golden treatment and this kid will be lucky if it gets spinach or chickpeas or asparagus at all.

leap for seven

My cousin Chris is having his 7th birthday today in 28 years. Bizarre to actually know someone that was born on Leap Day. What are the odds? Like 1/4 of 1/365? You figure that out and get back to me. I'm counting on you, my dorky husband who CHOSE mathematics as a MAJOR in college. Kind of weird though if you think of it because which day do you celebrate your birthday on the 3 years out of 4 that aren't in a Leap year? February 28th? March 1st? March 1st is in a whole different month. That doesn't sound right. Is he 7 today or 28? It boggles my mind.

Happy Leap day to all you chumps out there that need an excuse to put a Happy in front of something...really, I'm surprised the consumer-driven department stores haven't latched on and started selling commericial products for Leap Year. I wonder what they would sell. Anyone have any good ideas? Perhaps the day is finally here and I have stumbled upon my MMDI (multi-million dollar idea) while writing a pointless post about Leap Year.

I don't have a picture of Chris so this will have to do. Someday I will travel to the Alaskan tundra to go halibut fishing with you, Chris. And I will bring Renee. She will like to eat those big white fishies too. Renee is saying, "All I have to say is Happy Birthday to my cousin Chris whom I've never met but I have nothing but kind words for." No more questions please. My name is Jack Nicholson and I wear sunglasses indoors all of the time. Just because I am THAT cool.